Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
