Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize