Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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