people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize