Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
