so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
