wanna go halves on a baby?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
