On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think I died a long time ago.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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