you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
