I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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