In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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