Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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