Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
