Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
