her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
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Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
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