so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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