she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
