i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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