I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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