hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's blow job season.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
