I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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