the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
People with herpes should wear stickers.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
