Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
