who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fuck me I smell like cheese
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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