I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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