The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
