Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i think i have herpe
just one?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize