I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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