Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
