when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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