Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
