I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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