glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
