Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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