I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Farmville is her only friend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
