My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
