Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
