bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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