he wants to bone in the snuggie
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he just fucked me for my cheese.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
