I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
