What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
