I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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