Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
