he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
