btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
