Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
