she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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