we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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