I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize