I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
