I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sext me about skeletons
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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