I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
