i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
