it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
