i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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