i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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