so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I won the penis lottery.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
