how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
