pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
