Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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