like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
