I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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